Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Spouse

Don’t you wish you could take back the hurtful words you’ve said to your spouse? There are things better left unsaid because they’re not easy to take back, especially after a nasty fight with your partner. While it might not be easy to avoid hurting the feelings of your spouse, you should try to remember not to blurt out the following statements.

“It’s not my problem.”

It is your problem, too, because you’re partners. You vowed to support each other for the rest of your life, so you should help each other out when there is a problem.

“Maybe we should part ways.”

You might regret threatening to leave your spouse, because it could cause doubt on his/her part about your marriage commitment. Testing to see how your partner would react to the threat is unproductive and hurtful.

“You’re lying.”

Regardless if your partner is lying or not, throwing accusations without trying to talk about the situation first will not help solve problems. Ask questions and listen before you react, because you don’t want to be accused of a liar yourself before you were even given a chance to explain.

“You’re overreacting.”

Telling your partner to stop being so sensitive is insensitive. Maybe he/she has a right to overreact because you’re not taking the problem seriously or you’re choosing to ignore him/her. It’s the same as the statement “Calm down!” and usually has the opposite effect, because it’s like telling your partner that his/her feelings aren’t valid or worth discussing.

“If you really love me…”

You shouldn’t bully your partner in doing something for you to prove his/her love. That’s not how marriage is supposed to work. Use a different tactic to address your needs instead of being confrontational about it.

“Some partner you are.”

You’re telling your partner that your needs and feelings are more important than his/hers. What if you heard the same statement from your partner? Do you want to feel like you’re never going to be good enough for him/her?

“You never…”

Comparing your partner to other people or your relationship to the things you see in movies and television will cause a lot of problems. Your partner isn’t a clay you’re supposed to mold to fit your idea of a relationship. You should ask yourself if you’re also lacking the same qualities you’re demanding from him/her.

“You always…”

The effect of this opening phrase is the same as when you begin with “You never…” This will put your partner on the defensive because you’re already accusing him/her. If there is a problem that you need to discuss, don’t start with accusations when approaching the subject.

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